Happy New Year! Most pieces are in Made to Order status this January Happy New Year! Most pieces are in Made to Order status this January

The Cow That Hasn't Drowned Yet

The Cow That Hasn't Drowned Yet

There are so many ways our attention is being pulled away from us these days. We grew up watching television. In some houses it was always on. And the radio, with its advertisements too, we knew these were trying to sell us something, but it felt only mildly coercive; it was well within our power to resist the urge to go buy a new car every time there was an ad for a dealership. What we mostly didn’t notice back then, was that the advertisements and the time-filling television shows were distracting us from what was really important. I don’t want to get *too* into conspiracy theory on a jewelry website, nor do I study that stuff enough to be eloquent about it, but I can say with confidence that the simple format of show/ad spiraled out to the point where the drive for big money has funneled the talents of web designers into paths of making the very digital mediums into which we pour our attention every day are as captivating as possible, and it (our attention) is being harvested for great profit. Attention. Its a commodity now.

 

And I don’t want to take too much of your attention, because you have precious things to attend to in your own life, and a whole world that you love that you want to see thrive if you can help it. But I believe that it is the folks in the marketplace’s responsibility to provide ethical sources of goods and services, and be transparent too, about finances and sources of materials. And this blog is my opportunity to work on that transparency and also attempt to affect change towards a healthier community imbued with agency.


I just quit instagram again, its something I do now and then for a month or so to clear my mind and get myself back more firmly into reality. But this time its not just about my mental health, its about politics, and I’m not sure that using Instagram is the best way to get things done anymore. We need to be visiting our local community centers to check out the poster boards and talk to actual people and remember that life can’t be lived through a screen. There are real people out there who need a hand and would love to help us out too. It can feel so lonely staring into the scrying mirror full of visions we carry around like a colostomy bag that drains our attention away from the beautiful, scary, difficult, and ultimately liberating act of being alive in the world.


I had a dream the other night, that I was in a small boat with some other people, and we were moving to get away from something, not in a huge rush, but there was a sense of escape, to save ourselves. We saw in the deep, clear water along the river way, a Guernsey cow, fully submerged, still alive and blinking her one upturned eye at us, with a rope tied around her neck. I thought, we should save her! She is about to drown but she hasn’t yet! If we could just get to the side of the river, brace ourselves, we could pull her up! But we were moving past her, I didn’t speak up fast enough, I didn’t want to boss my crew around, we were on our own mission for safety, and no one else said a word.


I feel like the cow is everything and everyone we could save, help, or improve in this world if we just gave more of our attention to them. Including beautiful, useful parts of ourselves we have suppressed, strong and capable of creating such wild abundant sustenance as a cow is. But the boat we are in is moving fast toward a different shore we think will be easier to land on. And if we stay quiet and don’t want to rock the boat, the beautiful cow will drown silently and we’ll have to live with that decision.


And look, I’m all for practicing self love- the kind that doesn’t let us beat ourselves up. But we have to get real about where we are giving our attention and whether its really worth it or not. I have wasted a lot of time. Watching tv, staying in situations that weren’t serving the greater good, and on the entertainment hamster wheel of social media. There is so much inspiring content on social media- don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for all the content creators out there sharing about what they are doing to make the world a better place, and all the crazy cat parents for the videos of their silly felines. I have been deeply inspired and I actually think I can say that a lot of the way I think has been shaped in a very positive way by learning from so many creative and wise people on the scroll machine.


And who knows, maybe I’ll go back to using it eventually, if I can’t maintain the connections I need and want to stay connected to movements I want to be part of. But I have a feeling that with a few lifestyle changes like being more outgoing with strangers to hear about local happenings, checking good news sources (I have always gotten my news from social media as an adult… I admit it) and checking some coffee shop, Co-Op, and Mutual Aid hub bulletin boards for local events, I don’t think I’ll be missing out too much for inspiring local events or opportunities to be of service.


Oh right, this is a jewelry and metalsmithing blog. So, what does this have to do with Altar Metals? Well, instagram hasn’t ever really been much of a source of income for me. I’m pretty sure I have only ever sold to friends there. And it seems like all my friends who would have bought something from me at some point already have, so I may have exhausted that pool already. But they can still find me if they want something cool, custom, or classic altar metals.

 

And my goal is to get the work into more stores, locally, and in some of my favorite towns in the US. And get back to doing markets this summer. I miss the California markets I was doing before I moved to North Carolina, and the sense of community and craft camaraderie that they came with.


And I have been living under the weight of knowing that to make instagram profitable for Altar Metals, I would have to put in so much more time, doing things that really don’t feel good to me- I just don’t access my creativity in digital formats the same way I do in the physical. It never really felt worth it to go the extra mile, but then as a result I fell back on aiming for consistency, at least, and it never got me anywhere. I have noticed though, that particularly for my brand, people connect more to it in person. Its a tactile physical thing, requiring presence, and is not very well suited for online sales. (Idk, you think not? Prove me wrong, web developers! I’ll pay you in jewelry.)


In the end it all comes down to presence for me. Are we really here? Are we really listening to what the world wants from us, what our bodies want from us? Are we getting quiet enough to hear what we ourselves truly want for us and for the world, beyond the distractions of all the noise and stuff and things we could buy or laugh at? I want to spend less time in the distractions and more time in the real here and now. Its the only here and now I’ll ever have. There are so many things I still want to make, that want to be in the world, that want to get to the people who will adore them. And I have so much gardening and cooking and beautifying and people helping and loving to do! In honor of Martin Luther King Day and the inauguration yesterday, I am pulling back my attention from the places where it is being squandered for profit. Because there is so much work to do. My neighbors were setting off fireworks last night. Hearing that actually sent me into fear mode at first, but with the help of the Buddha Dharma and a friend, I was able to turn it around and wish the celebrants well. May it truly be a celebratory moment, a turning point, however we can make that reality come to pass- may everyone feel joy, and purpose, and strength to continue to create the world we want to live in.

 

 

image for this blog post is a watercolor that I did the other night when I let myself get bored.

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